How self-aware are you?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been blasted with new insights into how I’m obstructing my own performance and wellbeing and the performance and wellbeing of others. Having spent thousands of hours working on self-awareness and self-improvement, I continue to surprise and delight myself with new ways I can grow.

I won’t lie; sometimes, I wish I could live in denial, ignore my shadows and blame everyone else. But as I work through seeing how my ego and identity drive my thoughts and behaviours in ways that serve and sabotage, I can apply a big dose of self-acceptance to find the wisdom on the other side.

The result for me has been to cut back our program of work next year, so I stop operating from a permanent state of intense delivery, which gets me high on adrenalin but destroys trust in my team. And I made a humble acknowledgement to my partner, creating new levels of trust and intimacy – just before our holiday to Thailand. Yay!

This self-awareness game isn't woo-woo BS; it's fundamental to personal and professional success. When we look inward and work with our strengths and shadows, we make better decisions, have more authentic relationships, and feel at ease with who we are.

Studies also show companies with employees who exhibit higher levels of self-awareness have a higher rate of return (ROR). Clearly, cultivating a practice of self-awareness not only benefits the individual but positively impacts the bottom line. Win-win.

So, what does it mean to be self-aware? 

It’s not just about knowing your strengths and limitations but how you work with your mind (ie consciousness) in every moment. This may sound a little lofty and esoteric, but it doesn’t need to be. In our programs (and in my own life) I use a simple but immensely powerful tool from the Conscious Leadership Group (CLG) called “the line” that helps identify and shift unhelpful thoughts and behaviours in an instant.

Locating yourself above or below the line

Picture a metaphorical line that separates two mindsets. When you’re below the line, you’re reactive, defensive, and blaming others. You feel like a victim and seek validation to prove you’re right.

Above the line represents empowerment, ownership, and possibility. It embodies a mindset of curiosity and solution-seeking, where you can see the power you have to shape your own experiences.

When you feel triggered or uneasy in a situation, turn the lens inward and ask yourself, "Can I locate myself in this now moment? Am I in a state of trust or threat?" This simple self-inquiry opens the door to deeper self-awareness, helping you master your inner game by making the unconscious conscious.

Of course, we all recognise that above the line is the place to be, but the truth is we spend most of our time below the line. And that’s OK; it’s what it is to be human. To ensure our evolutionary survival, we constantly scan the environment for threats (sabretooth tiger! run!), but as we’re rarely in physical danger, it is the survival of our ego that is threatened (I’m committed to being right about this, and determined to make you wrong!). It takes a conscious effort to override this negativity bias and choose a different path.

Embracing and embedding this framework into your everyday experience will transform how you perceive and interact with the world. It shines a light on your ego and mindset in each moment, and I truly believe it is the most important model for helping you be a more conscious leader and better human.

Ask yourself right now, “Where am I?”